View attachment 42147 hehee
imho before these few yrs of looking for companionship,
I once remember watching madmax when young and concluded meh the worlds gonna end anyway (with global warming, eco crash, doomsday etc) and would rather not involve women & kids into that world only to lose it..ok reading that back maybe I took the film too literally hahaa
anyway as a result my only focus had only been just work and cars, being single was no prob, nothing to worry bout. never going out socially and never get involved with any females at work cos thats bad.
I can only technically count 3 rejections and lisa being my first proper but
very short term gf attempt. everyone else would normally prob go through alot more attempts, including my sister till she found her hubby also by fluke but me imo I prob couldn't go through that. but things change through life.
I'm proud that I left my last job, no regrets, saved myself from the chains of a worse state.
yes it's prob a phase in life and all the bad things of this yr happening at once seeming out of my control had prob exaggerated the feeling of rejection that I had bad time dealing with n always become anxious when daydreaming.
agree bout the no direct fault/fix cos it's a huge complex issue just like life.
our past upbringing, trauma, bullying, experiences, aspirations, education, etc all define who we are, our psychology, beliefs, behavior and is hard to fix these deep issues.
my engine ain't exactly blown catastrophically, tis just a misfire from low fuel.
best next step is prob keep moving, be open to sipping on whatever fuel (job) is nearby till I find the service station.
working on me car or 3d printer or fixing anything helps pre-occupy the mind.
Vitus (Daren) also suggested exercise that worked for him, and tbh that's a point.
I used to cycle loads as a teen but since uni at 18 I stopped and no surprise fitness goes downhill and with low efficiency of the body (just like a sludging stale engine) become tired lazy unmotivated.
so perhaps it's time to dust off the bike
ur a wealth of wise strong advice
thanks m8