Men are like.....

Gemma85

Gemma85

banished to the buses
Men are like ........Laxatives ...... They irritate the #### out of you.

2. Men are like ........ Bananas ...... The older they get, the less firm they are.


3. Men are like ........ Weather ..... Nothing can be done to change them..

4. Men are like ........ Blenders ..... You need One, but you're not quite sure why.

5. Men are like ....... Chocolate Bars .... Sweet, smooth, & they usually head right for your hips.

6. Men are like ....... Commercials ...... You can't believe a word they say.

7. Men are like ........ Department Stores ..... Their clothes are always 1/2 off.

8. Men are like ........ Government Bonds ..... They take soooooooo long to mature.

9. Men are like ....... Mascara ...... They usually run at the first sign of emotion.

10. Men are like ....... Popcorn . ..... They satisfy you, but only for a little while.

11. Men are like . Snowstorms ............. You never know when they're coming,
how many inches you'll get or how long it will last. (Absolute Cracker!!!!)

12. Men are like ........ Lava Lamps ..... Fun to look at, but not very bright.
 
Very good, but two can play at that game :p

Women Are Like

...the stock market
They're irrational and can bankrupt you if you're not careful.

...computers
They take too long to warm up and a better model always comes along once you've already got one.

...Saran Wrap
Useful but clingy.

...horses
Fun to pet and ride but a pain to feed and clean up after.

...parking meters
If you don't feed them with enough money you face serious consequences.

...fax machines
Useful for one very specific purpose but otherwise just high-maintenance paperweights.

...political campaign contributors
If you let them talk about themselves long enough you wind up in bed with them.

...refrigerators
They're always cold and never seem to have a beer when you need one.

...blue jeans
They look good for a while but eventually they fade and have to be replaced.

...country western songs
They're annoying, they all sound alike, but if you really listen to them you'll get depressed and drink a lot.


"Women are like fine wine. They all start out fresh, fruity and intoxicating to the mind and then turn full-bodied with age until they go all sour and vinegary and give you a headache."
 
women are emotionally unstable,

not a joke just a fact :p there's one of them at my work, shes always in a different mood when ever you see her and gets very stressy over nothing...

i bought her a stress ball... then she cried ?!?

now i have the stress ball ;) Score !
 
I used to work with a women like that nex she was going through "the change" and used to cry at the drop of the hat slagged everything off and used to get angry at anything once she cried cos there was no Tea Bags left as you do. When I said I'l get our boss to get some she shouted at me to stop interfiering I told her to #### off and to stop wingeing then lol
 
NeX said:
i bought her a stress ball... then she cried ?!?

now i have the stress ball ;) Score !
Click to expand...

dude you really have your funny moments at times lol i can just imagine you with it in work giggeling as u throw it around haha
 
"Women are like fine wine. They all start out fresh, fruity and intoxicating to the mind and then turn full-bodied with age until they go all sour and vinegary and give you a headache."


LMAO! effin amazing that one, you can imagin some one insulting sum 1 with that haha!
 
paddymarsden said:
dude you really have your funny moments at times lol i can just imagine you with it in work giggeling as u throw it around haha
Click to expand...

squeezin it now mate lol,

its one of those yellow ones with a happy face. wont be so happy after i run it over with my car Muhahaha :D

Lol @ gemma, yea i think our one was buying a new house at the time and of course we all have to suffer...
 
NeX said:
i bought her a stress ball... then she cried ?!?

now i have the stress ball ;) Score !
Click to expand...

I dont know why but i have you in my head doing a Jim Bowen style voice taking it away from her saying "look at what you could have won", turning her into an emotional wreck!!!! Lol!!
 
Men are Like...........Gods wo the female kind. cos if we wernt here..........

who would you turn to when you cant open the jar of Mayo?

Who would change the light bulb?

who would invent thnigs like cars, TV, Telephones etc (not radar but used a TV).

Who would build things like MFI shelves, houses, buildings.

Who would YOU clean after

Who would sort out all the problmes YOU have left.

Who would program the Video.
 
Monkey said:
Men are Like...........Gods wo the female kind. cos if we wernt here..........

who would you turn to when you cant open the jar of Mayo?

Who would change the light bulb?

who would invent thnigs like cars, TV, Telephones etc (not radar but used a TV).

Who would build things like MFI shelves, houses, buildings.

Who would YOU clean after

Who would sort out all the problmes YOU have left.

Who would program the Video.
Click to expand...

I can open my own god damn mayo...
I have ladders I can also change my lightbulb....
:S I cant be arsed to back this one up
LMAO....my dog .....
such as......
I have a dvd player
 
The Perfect Man

After careful consideration and endless debate the perfect man has finally been named:

MR. POTATO HEAD!

He's tan! He's cute! He knows the importance of accessorizing.
And if he looks at another girl, you can rearrange his face
 
Gemma85 said:
The Perfect Man

After careful consideration and endless debate the perfect man has finally been named:

MR. POTATO HEAD!

He's tan! He's cute! He knows the importance of accessorizing.
And if he looks at another girl, you can rearrange his face
Click to expand...

LOL!!! Lovin that one Gem!!!
 
Arnold said:
I dont know why but i have you in my head doing a Jim Bowen style voice taking it away from her saying "look at what you could have won", turning her into an emotional wreck!!!! Lol!!
Click to expand...

this is for the his & Hers towls!!

lol @ gemma again,

rearange his face :D
 
Lol no wonder u some of you guys are single! thats such a bad attitude to have.
 
leicesters just great for girls too, they're all got faces like a bulldog licking pee off a stinging nettle whilst getting hit in the face by a shovel, and yet they think they all seem to think they're gods gift n can get who they like, and think you fancy them when you quite blatently dont!
 
Young King Arthur was ambushed and imprisoned by the monarch of a neighboring kingdom. The monarch could have killed him but was moved by Arthur's youth and ideals. So, the monarch offered him his freedom, as long as he could answer a very difficult question. Arthur would have a year to figure out the answer and, if after a year, he still had no answer, he would be put to death.


The question?....What do women really want? Such a question would perplex even the most knowledgeable man, and to young Arthur, it seemed an impossible query. But, since it was better than death, he accepted the monarch's proposition to have an answer by year's end.

He returned to his kingdom and began to poll everyone: the princess, the priests, the wise men and even the court jester. He spoke with everyone, but no one could give him a satisfactory answer.

Many people advised him to consult the old witch, for only she would have the answer.

But the price would be high; as the witch was famous throughout the kingdom for the exorbitant prices she charged.

The last day of the year arrived and Arthur had no choice but to talk to the witch. She agreed to answer the question, but he would have to agree to her price first.

The old witch wanted to marry Sir Lancelot, the most noble of the Knights of the Round Table and Arthur's closest friend!

Young Arthur was horrified. She was hunchbacked and hideous, had only one tooth, smelled like sewage, made obscene noises, etc. He had never encountered such a repugnant creature in all his life.

He refused to force his friend to marry her and endure s uch a terrible burden; but Lancelot, learning of the proposal, spoke with Arthur.

He said nothing was too big of a sacrifice compared to Arthur's life and the preservation of the Round Table.

Hence, a wedding was proclaimed and the witch answered Arthur's question thus:

What a woman really wants, she answered....is to be in charge of her own life.

Everyone in the kingdom instantly knew that the witch had uttered a great truth and that Arthur's life would be spared.

And so it was, the neighboring monarch granted Arthur his freedom and Lancelot and the witch had a wonderful wedding.

The honeymoon hour approached and Lancelot, steeling himself for a horrific experience, entered the bedroom. But what a sight awaited him. The most beautiful woman he had ever seen lay before him on the bed. The astounded Lancelot asked what had happened.

The beauty replied that since he had been so kind to her when she appeared as a witch, she would henceforth, be her horrible deformed self only half the time and the beautiful maiden the other half.

Which would he prefer? Beautiful during the day....or night?

Lancelot pondered the predicament. During the day, a beautiful woman to show off to his friends, but at night, in the privacy of his castle, an old witch? Or, would he prefer having a hideous witch during the day, but by night, a beautiful woman for him to enjoy wondrous intimate moments?

What would YOU do?

What Lancelot chose is below. BUT....make YOUR choice before you scroll down below.
















OKAY?
















Noble Lancelot said that he would allow HER to make the choice herself.

Upon hearing this, she announced that she would be beautiful all the time because he had respected her enough to let her be in charge of her own life.

Now....what is the moral to this story?




The moral is.....
If you don't let a woman have her own way....
Things are going to get ugly!
 
yom: that story was awesome. it makes you think more about stuff to be honest.
i dont know if you made that or found it, but its interesting either way.
cheers
 
Haha Yom good 1 so true to (im printing this out for my other half he still hasnt grasped this yet)

and James ok yes 2!
 
rlees85 said:
leicesters just great for girls too, they're all got faces like a bulldog licking pee off a stinging nettle whilst getting hit in the face by a shovel, and yet they think they all seem to think they're gods gift n can get who they like, and think you fancy them when you quite blatently dont!
Click to expand...


LMFAO!!!!!! I can just imagine that!!! :D

Gemma85 said:
a good 1 amonst the bunch lol
Click to expand...

Yup, he's definately different!!! :D
 

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