Microsoft

[Layla]

IF MICROSOFT BUILT CARS:

1. Every time they repainted the lines on the road you would have to buy a new car.

2. Occasionally your car would die on the freeway for no reason, and you would just accept this, restart and drive on.

3. Occasionally, executing a maneuver would cause your car to stop and fail and you would have to re-install the engine. For some strange reason, you would accept this too.

4. You could only have one person in the car at a time, unless you bought "Car95" or "CarNT". But, then you would have to buy more seats.

5. Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun, was reliable, five times as fast, twice as easy to drive - but would only run on 5 percent of the roads.

6. The Macintosh car owners would get expensive Microsoft upgrades to their cars, which would make their cars run much slower.

7. The oil, gas and alternator warning lights would be replaced by a single "general car default" warning light.

8. New seats would force everyone to have the same size butt.

9. The airbag system would say "are you sure?" before going off.

10. If you were involved in a crash, you would have no idea what happened.

 

[detox]

Macintosh car is do automatic shutdown !!! very cool you dont even have to press a butten ( i h8 mac and windows )!!!

but i would still have linux witch is the fastest. Anything works if you have a minute to change it and you can do what the #### you want to that car "mod it in to anyting"

and with the new slax version i will be able to stick a disc in your car and it will run like a bugatti veyron

 

[Ian]

yeah but you have no software support

 

[James]

Goldstar's right. Family forum people...

 

[Zephyr]

i had something similar to this ages ago just found it on comp n looks like it got a couple more...i also couldnt b bothered removing the repeated ones so if a mod wants to remove them they can im just too lazy lol

Cars... The microsoft way
At a recent computer expo (COMDEX), Bill Gates compared the computer industry with the auto industry and stated: "If GM had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving $25.00 dollar cars that got 1,000 miles to the gallon."

In response to Bill's comments, General Motors issued a press release (by Mr. Welch himself) stating: If General Motors had developed technology like Microsoft, we would all be driving cars with the following characteristics:

1. For no reason whatsoever, your car would crash twice a day.

2. Every time they repainted the lines on the road, you'd have to buy a new car.

3. Occasionally your car would die on the freeway for no reason. You'd just calmly accept this, restart your car, and then drive on.

4. Occasionally, executing a maneuver such as a left turn would cause your car to be shut down and refuse to restart. Then, you'd have to reinstall the engine.

5. Only one person at a time could use the car, unless you bought "Car95" or "CarNT". But then you'd have to buy more seats.

6. Apple Computer would make a car that was solar powered, more reliable, five times faster and twice as easy to drive, but would only run on 5% of the roads.

7. The oil, water, temperature and alternator warning lights would be replaced by a single "General Car Default" warning light.

8. New seats would force everyone to have the same size butt.

9. The airbag system would ask "Are you sure?" before activating.

10. Occasionally, for no reason whatsoever, your car would lock you out and refuse to let you back in until you simultaneously lifted the door handle, turned the key, and grabbed hold of the radio antenna.

11. GM would require all car buyers to also purchase a deluxe set of Rand McNally road maps (now a GM subsidiary) even though they'd neither want nor need them. Attempting to delete this option would immediately diminish the car's performance by 50% or more. Moreover, GM would become a target for investigation by the Justice Department.

12. Every time GM introduced a new model, car buyers would have to learn how to drive all over again because none of the controls would operate in the same manner as before.

13. You'd press the "Start" button to shut off your engine.

 

[paddymarsden]

yeah but you have no software support

you can get linux support, just go to pc world and buy it along with the install disk only about £50 for Suse linux.

 

[Arnold]

9. The airbag system would say "are you sure?" before going off.

lmao!! :grinning:

 

[Ian]

Goldstar's right. Family forum people...

what did i miss?

layla

 

[Ian]

you can get linux support, just go to pc world and buy it along with the install disk only about £50 for Suse linux.

nah i mean for every program on linux there's a 100 on windows. OK so thats a good and bad thing. But there are no games for linux either, which sucks wangs :\

 

[Layla]

look at all the nerds ruining my joke

 

[detox]

nah i mean for every program on linux there's a 100 on windows. OK so thats a good and bad thing. But there are no games for linux either, which sucks wangs :\

it has open kernel so u can make window programs work and make it in to any thing you what if you had time you could turn it in to windows!!!!!